"The Asinine Adventures of Tom Fortunato!"

As I wait to finally hook a literary agent to represent my 360+ page, 82,596+ word manuscript about the recent years of my life, I have decided to post all the chapters up here for people to read in the meantime (and hopefully I'll generate a fan base).

Yes, it may seem self-defeating to be giving my work away for free, but in all honesty, I wasn't counting on making serious money from these sordid stories anyway. I just wanted to make people laugh (and get my life's story out). Enjoy.

List of Chapters:

1. Girl, So Frail and Helpless... (occurred December 2005 - February 2006)

2. The Seven Stalkers of Lil' Liza (occurred June 2003, and February - August 2005)

3. Kristin Misses Her Train (occurred March 2006)

4. David Hulnik Is Not My Lover! (occurred September 2002 - December 2003)

5. Fear & Loathing in Honesdale, PA (all stories occurred June - July 2003)

   1. Ally's Stock Or Bust!

   2. Who Want’th To Marry A Thtriking Young Man With A Lithp?

   3. The Greatest Birthday EVAR!

   4. The Golf Cart Flipping Story/Ack-Jacker Jill

   5. The Advent Of Dillo Man/The Story Of Liz

6. The Black Anal Passion Story (occurred July 2006)

7. Around The World! (occurred September 2006)

8. "For Too Long, Rich White Conservatives..." (occurred September - October 2006)

9. Tom Gets His Ass Kicked By Kristin! (occurred October 31st, 2006)

10. Natalia, Ancient Pornographic Snake Goddess! (occurred February 2007)

11. "I Wish For Glenn- No, I Mean Gwen!" (occurred April 2007)

12. Fear & Loathing at Union County College (all stories occurred March - May 2007)

    1. Like A Pickle

    2. New Jersey Water Is Flammable

    3. Parts Not Intended

13. Party At The Red Bull Inn! (occurred July 4th, 2007)

14. Sitting in Rehab With A Pocket Full of Lizards (occurred December 2007 - June 2008)

    1. The Patron Saint Of Antisocial Personality Disorder

    2. Arsen

    3. Emily

    4. Hilary

    5. Shiva

    6. B'John

15. Tom Falls In Love With A Lesbian! (occurred January - June 2008)

16. Double Cooking Fail At The Reptile Zoo! (occurred June 2008)

17. Tom Becomes Polish For A Day (occurred December 9th, 2008)

18. The Prom Night We Never Had (occurred January 9th, 2009)

19. It Came From The Tool Shed! (occurred March 21st, 2009)

20. Who Wants To Bang Two Dudes? (occurred March 2009)

21. Epic Girlfriend Fail (occurred April 2009)

22. "My Uncle Workth At A Gaard Taür!" (occurred July 7th - 8th 2009)

23. Nerdapalooza 2009 (Part 1) (occurred July 11th 2009)

24. Nerdapalooza 2009 (Part 2) (occurred July 12th 2009)

25. Post-Nerdapalooza Amtrak Fail (occurred July 13th - 14th 2009)

26. Greenwich Treehouse of Horror! (occurred July 24th 2009)

27. Fear & Loathing In A Honda Element (all stories occurred October - December 2009)

    1. What In The Name of Sega Genesis?

    2. Butterclutch

    3. Living On The Edge

 

Questions? Comments? Hate Mail?
Leave them all for Tom Fortunato here:
http://www.formspring.me/4chewnahdoe

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